I had some pictures put up on my cell (ahem, cubicle) at work. A coworker came by and was perusing them. She spotted a picture taken of me and my husband and his family in Australia and she said "Is that you?"
"Well, yeah," says I.
"How long ago was that taken?" says coworker.
"About eight years ago" says I.
"My God, you sure have put on a lot of weight since then." says coworker
"Well, thank you very much, BITCH. If you can't says something nice just keep your damn piehole shut!" says I.
Ok, I lied, I didn't say the last sentence, just muttered some inane unmemorable comment. But, Ill be damned, I wish I did say it! Who does she think she is? I could have come up with many comments regarding her looks, her manner, her work ethics etc., but of course, I am a nice person and wouldn't do such a thing.
Oh! Oh! OH! Maybe I have it all wrong! Maybe, she meant it as a compliment! She didn't say, and here I am thinking the worst of her. I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, now that I am thinking about it. Yes, that's it. The next time someone says, "Wow, you sure have put on weight" or some other such remark, that I have previously assumed they said because they were stupid and RUDE and thoughtless ingrates, I will smile at them and say-
"Thank you, Thank you very much!
Libby Libby Libby! When some lovely co-worker or other mean rude idiot says something about your weight you can always use that quaint reply "Yes I am fat but YOU'RE UGLY and I can diet." Or one of my favorite comeback lines "It is true I have gained weight but it is truly a pity that you were so unloved and neglected by your parents that they never taught you proper manners."
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