MY, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN

Intellectually, I realize that achieving goddess status takes time, but being lazy and stubborn and impatient, I wish that time was NOW. As one can tell from the title of this blog, I have taken a flying leap from Mt. Olympus.

The saga continues: This past weekend was my wedding anniversary and one is allowed to indulge a bit for such an important event, no? My husband and I celebrated by going to the Pasadena Huntington Museum. He actually likes museums, more than me, so I didn't have to drag him. On the way to the museum, I spied a great little restaurant called "The Hat", best pastrami in the world, yum, yum. I drove right by it! Of course, I had my healthy snacks in hand and it was only 10 AM, but still!

By the time we entered the museum, the majority of the healthy snacks were gone, baby, gone. No matter, after perusing the gardens, it was time for the healthy lunch. My, wasn't I smug with my salad and low-fat milk, while my husband bought crap. Virtue is it's own reward.

On the way home, as we drove near the Hat, I suggested we might just indulge in a pastrami sandwich. Naive baby and foreigner that my husband is, he thought that pastrami was just like corned beef. As if. I thought maybe we could split it and take it home. Well, that was the plan but being in the restaurant looking at all that beautiful pastrami, I thought well, maybe, I can just have a bite and then take the rest home for when I was hungry. I ate my half and a large amount of John's chili cheese fries, and it was REALLY GOOD. REALLY REALLY GOOD.

Uh oh. Best laid plans and all that. The entire weekend was a bust after that. I made the mistake after the indulgent weekend to weigh myself. Dumb. Just depressed me and made me angry. As usual, the same self-hating mantra and world-hating mantra continued. Why can't I eat what I like? Why is life so miserable? Why am I so fat? Why do I have such a lousy job where I sit on my butt all day? Why?

The reason why is because we Americans have the greatest food larder in the world. We can get nearly anything we want anytime we want. We are not worried with the weather, or famine, or not having enough, so we can get fat. We're not being chased by mastodons, or spending hours taking wheat and making it into mash. Frankly, we have everything we need, and we are big whiners. So, we sit on our butts and get chubby.

Wow! Chubby is wonderful! Ok, so maybe I am a little fat, but in years past, I wouldn't have been fat. I don't think I was ever meant to be a noble, so I would have worked my chubby hiney to a thin and chiseled fine figure of a woman. Of course, I would have expired long before my present age of 29 (cough, cough) from smallpox, pestilence, dinosaurs eating me, or in childbirth with my 15th child, so who am I to complain?

It really is hard for me to get it in my mind that I can eat anything I want, whenever I want, but I don't need to! Maybe I am not so advanced as others in the evoluntionary biosphere. Maybe in my soul of souls, I really am being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger, or hiding with my grubs in my fat little fist (or not so fat fist) so my evening meal will not be stolen from me. Woe is me, for I am undone!

So, I am stuck in this century with so much food, and way too many decisions to make. The decisions I make, may decide my fate for my old age, and how I feel as an old lady, so I need to get it together NOW.

Oh yeah, my bicycle is still sitting in my living room, collecting dirty laundry. So much for vows.