I'M BACK!!!

I'm BACK!!!  How many of you now have the James Brown song "Get Up Offa Yo Feet" in your head?  "I'm back! I'm back" doodleloodledoodleloodlelo" in your head?  None? That's how my mind works, if this seems disjointed.

Well, I'm back.  My last post was in March 2009.  I'm back, and I'm blogging about the same' ol, same 'ol.  Body images, diet, etc.  Nothing has changed, I'm still fat and out of shape.  BUT... things have changed up a bit at home.  My mom has moved in with me.  No kids live with me anymore..  My mom has probably lost 30 lbs since she moved in, and my husband has lost about 50 lbs in the last couple of years.  There's a trick to this!  Get up early and stay up late and don't let the other family members take any food that you think is yours.  Hog it all!

How can they live in the same house as me and lose weight?  I don't get it.  Well, every man or woman for himself in my house is the way we do it.  I guess, mom and John have SELF-CONTROL and don't drive to junk food places for lunch, like I do.   Mom doesn't drive at all and John's car is on the fritz, so that explains it.  EVIL LAUGH INJECTED JUST ABOUT NOW! Bwaa haa haa haa HA!

When I reread the posts of 2009, I think they are ridiculous plans.  "Well, of course, that doesn't work, well yeah...etc. etc. etc."  I backslid on all of them, I don't take two, I don't  take walks around the neighborhood,  I thought about riding my bike so long that I thought about (and did) give it away.  Only one of my great plans has finally come to fruition.  I've kicked the Diet Coke habit, and aspartame and soda habit.  It's been 6 weeks and I will never go back. Never.  I may even write a post about the evils of diet coke.  To see what I wrote in 2009, look at "God's Elixir".

I feel like I am baby-stepping all over again, but I am starting before scratch.  I'm concerned about my health, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, various aches and pains, I'm concerned about my looks as I get close to 30, and I am really concerned about my ability to sing and act without getting outta breath.
I still have wild fantasies about putting on a cabaret show of some sort, and don't have the stamina to sing and be adorable and engaging for more than 15 minutes or so.  So, there's that.

Besides giving up Diet Coke,  I am working hard on giving up "high fructose corn syrup" and giving up deep fried foods, except KFC.  Sorry, I refuse to give that up, but only have about 4 times a year.  I am least successful with the "HFCS" cuz it is everywhere, everywhere!  Auntie Em!  Baby-stepping, Baby-stepping.  I'm BACK!

Slob, Slug, Sludge

I cannot manage to get my fat ass off my bed to do ANYTHING lately. Ashamed to admit it, I have completely gotten away from doing anything worthwhile. I am not thinking fruit, taking two, taking walks nada, nein, nothing and I don't know why. I was so excited about all the good things happening and then poof, done.


So, I've decided to write about it. I can't figure out this 3 or 4 week energy boost and then my descent into the bog. Wha???? And when will it change? Maybe because I am spending so much time reading about soon to be American Idol, Adam Lambert and relooping the dvr to watch his performances. I'm sick



Anyway, it bothers me greatly, that I've turned back to my regular slovenly ways. I'm going to chalk this up to Adam and Menopause. I think Menopause is the culprit. Just when I think I've got all my problems licked, a hot flash will rear its ugly head.



Chris and John aren't helping. They aren't hindering, but Chris admits that she won't walk unless I get her up to do it, and John won't even try.

Note on June 15th, 2009. I am posting this for you, Robin, until I get another blog up. I promise it will be soon. And Adam didn't win, even though he is number one in my heart.

Take A Hike

One mile or less from my house, there are about 20 eating establishments, 3 grocery stores, one craft store, several get cash quick stores, several liquor stores, a drug store, a phone store,and a clothing store. In addition, you can walk to Toyota and buy a new car, or to the vet to take care of your companion animal, or to the "doc in the box" to take care of yourself. If you are in a fevered state, you can walk or be dragged by your pals to the hospital. You can find a doctor to give you a face lift, or yell at you about your drinking, or put you on a diet. You can gas up your car, go workout, or volunteer at the soup kitchen. If you are in need of a good book, you can walk to the library. When you want the kids out of your hair, you can take them to the park. Good luck on convincing hubby on taking those salsa lessons, but they are available at the recreation center.

I am so glad I don't live in the suburbs where you have to DRIVE to all these places. It is great to live somewhere where every hike can get you to a different place, instead of the same ol', same ol'. As you may have guessed, I have been walking a lot lately. My new motto is "Why drive, when you can take a hike?" Today, I needed to return a movie, so I walked to the store to return it. Even three weeks ago, I never would have done that. Ok, it is spring, and maybe that has something to do with it, but I think I am more in the mood for walking places lately.

Some people like to get their walk on by figuring out their steps, and running around a track. I say BOOORRRRIIINNNG. So, what's so wrong with walking around your neighborhood? It works for me. You only need a good pair of walking shoes. I tried a hike in my usual phony birks but that didn't work for long, so I put on the socks and shoes.

I try to take a hike daily before going to work. Granted I don't go far, but I try to change it up and walk on different blocks. Usually, my cousin goes with me. I'm still trying to convince my husband to walk with me, to no success. After work, if I need milk or something I will walk to the store instead of drive, and bring my 99c store bags with me.

When I am in better shape, and want to walk more than a mile in any direction, I'll take the 3 mile hike to the beach and gaze out on the Pacific Ocean. Why would anyone want to live anywhere else? For now, hiking and gazing are two of my favorite things. Well, that and fatty fatty two by four dip.

For those serious about hiking, they should check out my brother Hal's blog http://hikeeveryday.blogspot.com/. He is working on a hike in the wilderness every day and is so far over 100 days. You go, Hal!

UPDATE

I thought instead of whining today, I would give you an update on the latest and greatest of my osmotic thoughts and plans. To Date:


1. God's Elixir- Yep, I am cured! I think I have only had a few sips since I gave it up. I have no cravings, and don't care to partake anymore. It is miracle. A few of those sips were like "toxic swill" and some were good. No matter. I don't buy it or drink it anymore. The side effects are that I don't seem to crave sweets as much, and I am not so jittery. However, I still have anxiety and I thought that was all Diet Coke driven. Guess not.

2. My hair is growing, but not soon enough. I hate my new short "do". Most of the time, I pull it back, just like I always did.

3. Osmosis- yep, still getting "osmotics", I'm thinking about "split it", but so far haven't put that into action.


4. Think Fruit is working great. I am eating way more fruit. I try to eat fruit three times a day. The good effect is of course, digestive, and it's disgusting to say anything more about that. Also, the craving for sweets is WAY down, since the fruit takes care of most of that. Another benefit is that I am partaking of way more veggies. Fruit and veggies are friends!


5. Take two is working for obvious things, two strips of bacon or sausage (not both and not four)or two items at a fast-food place. Take two is not working so great with take two potato chips, or 2 teaspoons of fatty-fatty two-by four dip. I may need to think about ugh "portion control", but I'm not there yet. I think I'll eat a cookie. In fact, I think I'll eat two.

6. My favorite things HAVE CHANGED. Yes, I still love fatty-fatty two by four dip, but I haven't been to Del Taco, or Carl's or McDonalds on a regular basis. I have been a few times, mind you, but not on a regular basis and that is another real miracle. Listen to this, I will only say it one time, I BRING MY LUNCH TO WORK! I can't believe it either. I either make a sandwich or indulge and buy a salad at Trader Joe's. Also, I have been scoping out Farmer's Markets, even if they have been a little more expensive, because the crap at the super's is just that, crap.

7. Most of my eating companions have been me, myself, and I, but I treasure the time I spend with thine. Invite me out! I'll eat anything.

8. My poor bike is still sitting in the living room. It is no longer a respository for all kinds of towels and clothes because my roomie and cousin, Chris, won't put up with the mess. She is on a cleaning kick which I applaud. However, I have been walking a lot, which I will blog about soon.

9. I am not evolved enough to not get on the scale, however it was getting ridiculous, as I was hopping on like a bunny, 3 or 4 times a day. I've put it away and am vowing to only check once on the 15th of each month. For those of you, also not evolved, I've lost about 10 lbs, give or take a potato chip or two.

THE TYRANNY OF THE SCALE

I have been weighing myself daily. Sometimes, I have been weighing myself several times a day. Why do I do this when I know it will make me crazy and tear out my hair and run towards the closest Milky Way? Weighing yourself is an example of how we have been intimidated by the weight-loss industry. There is supposed to be a "magic number" for my height and I damn well better be it! All the authorities I respect and all the people I know who have been successful with weight loss are not cowed by this little machine we stand on. But I am.

After an initial weight loss of about 7 lbs, I've gained about 2 lbs back, and then lose again. Now, 7 lbs isn't that much, but I am not going on a crash diet of any sorts, just trying to figure out how to eat better. I have weighed myself naked early in the morning, and fully-clothed late at night. I have weighed myself on weekends when I have eaten fatty fatty two by four dip, when I know I will cry myself to sleep in my metrecal. What's with this obsession with the scale?

And yet, I can't seem to throw the thing away or even stick it in a distant closet somewhere. My cousin, Patti has lost weight lately. She doesn't know how much and she doesn't weigh herself. Amazingly, when I spoke with her, she didn't even know what size she wears! She had to take her pants in because they were hanging on her. That is how she knows she lost weight. The secret to Patti's success is she "stopped eating like a pig, and ate a lot of salads". I am less perplexed by the secret of her dieting success than I am by the fact that she is not obsessed with her weight or her clothing size. Is she an American? In Patti's case, maybe not. She is a world traveler, speaks several languages fluently (French, English, Spanish, Italian)and has dual Italian and American citizenship. Maybe, that's the trick. See the world.

The world I see is from TV and magazines. We think of the world in BIG views, new countries with different cultures etc. Since it is unlikely my world view will be expanded by foreign travel anytime soon, I can expand my view in the city where I live. In a former job I held, we once polled all the languges spoken in the data entry department. Out of about 110 employees, there were 14 languages spoken. Those 14 cultures plus more, are available in my city, or close to it. No reason why I can't make some inroads close to home. Maybe an attitude adjustment is what I need. There is no reason why I can't take some of those gazillion language cd's my husband has and learn a little Spanish, or French for that matter. I can walk 20 feet from my front door and practice my new-found Spanish.

If I want something a little more exotic, I can go 10 miles and visit "Little Saigon" for an Asian flavor. If it's Greektown I want, or Little Armenia, I can visit Los Angeles, an hours drive. There is a whole world out there to see, close to home. How lucky can I get? Today is National Start Walking day, so I'm starting from home, where there is a world out there awaiting me.

Happy hiking and keep your passport current! You never know.

MY, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN

Intellectually, I realize that achieving goddess status takes time, but being lazy and stubborn and impatient, I wish that time was NOW. As one can tell from the title of this blog, I have taken a flying leap from Mt. Olympus.

The saga continues: This past weekend was my wedding anniversary and one is allowed to indulge a bit for such an important event, no? My husband and I celebrated by going to the Pasadena Huntington Museum. He actually likes museums, more than me, so I didn't have to drag him. On the way to the museum, I spied a great little restaurant called "The Hat", best pastrami in the world, yum, yum. I drove right by it! Of course, I had my healthy snacks in hand and it was only 10 AM, but still!

By the time we entered the museum, the majority of the healthy snacks were gone, baby, gone. No matter, after perusing the gardens, it was time for the healthy lunch. My, wasn't I smug with my salad and low-fat milk, while my husband bought crap. Virtue is it's own reward.

On the way home, as we drove near the Hat, I suggested we might just indulge in a pastrami sandwich. Naive baby and foreigner that my husband is, he thought that pastrami was just like corned beef. As if. I thought maybe we could split it and take it home. Well, that was the plan but being in the restaurant looking at all that beautiful pastrami, I thought well, maybe, I can just have a bite and then take the rest home for when I was hungry. I ate my half and a large amount of John's chili cheese fries, and it was REALLY GOOD. REALLY REALLY GOOD.

Uh oh. Best laid plans and all that. The entire weekend was a bust after that. I made the mistake after the indulgent weekend to weigh myself. Dumb. Just depressed me and made me angry. As usual, the same self-hating mantra and world-hating mantra continued. Why can't I eat what I like? Why is life so miserable? Why am I so fat? Why do I have such a lousy job where I sit on my butt all day? Why?

The reason why is because we Americans have the greatest food larder in the world. We can get nearly anything we want anytime we want. We are not worried with the weather, or famine, or not having enough, so we can get fat. We're not being chased by mastodons, or spending hours taking wheat and making it into mash. Frankly, we have everything we need, and we are big whiners. So, we sit on our butts and get chubby.

Wow! Chubby is wonderful! Ok, so maybe I am a little fat, but in years past, I wouldn't have been fat. I don't think I was ever meant to be a noble, so I would have worked my chubby hiney to a thin and chiseled fine figure of a woman. Of course, I would have expired long before my present age of 29 (cough, cough) from smallpox, pestilence, dinosaurs eating me, or in childbirth with my 15th child, so who am I to complain?

It really is hard for me to get it in my mind that I can eat anything I want, whenever I want, but I don't need to! Maybe I am not so advanced as others in the evoluntionary biosphere. Maybe in my soul of souls, I really am being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger, or hiding with my grubs in my fat little fist (or not so fat fist) so my evening meal will not be stolen from me. Woe is me, for I am undone!

So, I am stuck in this century with so much food, and way too many decisions to make. The decisions I make, may decide my fate for my old age, and how I feel as an old lady, so I need to get it together NOW.

Oh yeah, my bicycle is still sitting in my living room, collecting dirty laundry. So much for vows.

FINE DINING

I have done some fine dining lately. Normally, my dining is at Del Taco, or if I want to splurge, Norm's. Last week, I went with my daughter and her best friend and kids to a very fine Italian Restaurant, by name Pizza Pi, on Broadway in Long Beach, CA.

The first thing you notice at a fine dining establishment is the ambience. Unfortunately, I felt the ambience of Pizza Pi was a bit lacking. The room we were in looked more like a warehouse than a restaurant, rather cold and uninviting. Apparently, we entered the sports room. There was a very large TV in the restaurant. If I wanted TV, I could've stayed at home. Bethany (best friend) explained to me that the the sports room was the choice for children since running around like wild little banshees (well, ok, she didn't say THAT) was more acceptable there than in the restaurant. And indeed, there was a restaurant area, we just didn't go there. No matter. The kids, Jaylin and Isabella, were extremely well behaved, and Jaylin was very attentive to his little sister and made sure she was comfortable.

The next thing you notice is the food. I give mixed reviews to the food. The kids got pizza, which looked REALLY good, but I didn't have any, so can't review. The three adults ordered three different pasta dishes. Bethany had pasta with vodka sauce, boring, bring on more vodka and I might change my mind! Keturah had something else which was interesting, tasted like it had nutmeg in it, and mine was the best by far. Pasta Nicolina, really good. Tasty sausage, spicy sauce. Yum. We ordered antipasto, big disappointment, cutting up a few salami sticks and putting them on packaged lettuce, adding a few grilled eggplant do not an antipasto make!
The piece de resistance was the bread. Wow! Crusty on the outside, soft on the inside covered with Parmesan cheese. So much for TAKE TWO, yep, I took two and then I took two more. Delish! I feel guilty about it, but how often do you fine dine?

How's about the wine? Well, I can't say there was any sommelier (Aren't you impressed that I know what that is?) I believe I was the only boozer in the party. I don't like red wine, and could care less about wine in general, but the white zinfandel I ordered was fine. I've had wine in the past that tasted like toxic swill going down, and this was very smooth.

One of the most important aspects of fine dining is the staff. Are they helpful, are they unintrusive, do they do that little something extra for you? On this level, the staff was excellent. The waitress, helpful, sweet to the kids, brought extras when we asked, and I really liked her "Alice in Wonderland" tattoo too!

The staff member who really impressed me though was the "powder room attendant"
When the call of nature arrived, as it always does, I was escorted to the powder room by a gracious, informative helper. She took me by hand and made sure I made it to the ladies room, and not the men's. She ran a little ahead to open the door for me, then opened the stall door, inspected the toilet, the toilet paper dispenser and made sure I properly lined the toilet with "hiney liner". I do believe she was going to wait inside the stall with me, but I asked her to wait outside, please. This she did, with only a few "peeks" under the door to ensure I was safe. I must say, she considered my safety more important that my modesty! Task completed, she made sure I properly flushed and inspected the toilet for confirmation. Then she ran, literally ran to the sink to ensure proper washing with hot water, and lots of soap, she then brought me a paper towel with which to dry my hands. I was walking to the door when she said "Wait!" and ran back to the towel dispenser, got a towel, and used that to open the door with. No germs for me! I do believe I have never been afforded such attention to the necessities of life!

Oh, by the way, my attendant was Bella, Bethany's daughter and she is three years old. Thank you, Bella! Good job Bethany and Terrance on the way you raise your children! And a fine dining experience was had by one and all.