Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Slob, Slug, Sludge

I cannot manage to get my fat ass off my bed to do ANYTHING lately. Ashamed to admit it, I have completely gotten away from doing anything worthwhile. I am not thinking fruit, taking two, taking walks nada, nein, nothing and I don't know why. I was so excited about all the good things happening and then poof, done.


So, I've decided to write about it. I can't figure out this 3 or 4 week energy boost and then my descent into the bog. Wha???? And when will it change? Maybe because I am spending so much time reading about soon to be American Idol, Adam Lambert and relooping the dvr to watch his performances. I'm sick



Anyway, it bothers me greatly, that I've turned back to my regular slovenly ways. I'm going to chalk this up to Adam and Menopause. I think Menopause is the culprit. Just when I think I've got all my problems licked, a hot flash will rear its ugly head.



Chris and John aren't helping. They aren't hindering, but Chris admits that she won't walk unless I get her up to do it, and John won't even try.

Note on June 15th, 2009. I am posting this for you, Robin, until I get another blog up. I promise it will be soon. And Adam didn't win, even though he is number one in my heart.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Take A Hike

One mile or less from my house, there are about 20 eating establishments, 3 grocery stores, one craft store, several get cash quick stores, several liquor stores, a drug store, a phone store,and a clothing store. In addition, you can walk to Toyota and buy a new car, or to the vet to take care of your companion animal, or to the "doc in the box" to take care of yourself. If you are in a fevered state, you can walk or be dragged by your pals to the hospital. You can find a doctor to give you a face lift, or yell at you about your drinking, or put you on a diet. You can gas up your car, go workout, or volunteer at the soup kitchen. If you are in need of a good book, you can walk to the library. When you want the kids out of your hair, you can take them to the park. Good luck on convincing hubby on taking those salsa lessons, but they are available at the recreation center.

I am so glad I don't live in the suburbs where you have to DRIVE to all these places. It is great to live somewhere where every hike can get you to a different place, instead of the same ol', same ol'. As you may have guessed, I have been walking a lot lately. My new motto is "Why drive, when you can take a hike?" Today, I needed to return a movie, so I walked to the store to return it. Even three weeks ago, I never would have done that. Ok, it is spring, and maybe that has something to do with it, but I think I am more in the mood for walking places lately.

Some people like to get their walk on by figuring out their steps, and running around a track. I say BOOORRRRIIINNNG. So, what's so wrong with walking around your neighborhood? It works for me. You only need a good pair of walking shoes. I tried a hike in my usual phony birks but that didn't work for long, so I put on the socks and shoes.

I try to take a hike daily before going to work. Granted I don't go far, but I try to change it up and walk on different blocks. Usually, my cousin goes with me. I'm still trying to convince my husband to walk with me, to no success. After work, if I need milk or something I will walk to the store instead of drive, and bring my 99c store bags with me.

When I am in better shape, and want to walk more than a mile in any direction, I'll take the 3 mile hike to the beach and gaze out on the Pacific Ocean. Why would anyone want to live anywhere else? For now, hiking and gazing are two of my favorite things. Well, that and fatty fatty two by four dip.

For those serious about hiking, they should check out my brother Hal's blog http://hikeeveryday.blogspot.com/. He is working on a hike in the wilderness every day and is so far over 100 days. You go, Hal!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

UPDATE

I thought instead of whining today, I would give you an update on the latest and greatest of my osmotic thoughts and plans. To Date:


1. God's Elixir- Yep, I am cured! I think I have only had a few sips since I gave it up. I have no cravings, and don't care to partake anymore. It is miracle. A few of those sips were like "toxic swill" and some were good. No matter. I don't buy it or drink it anymore. The side effects are that I don't seem to crave sweets as much, and I am not so jittery. However, I still have anxiety and I thought that was all Diet Coke driven. Guess not.

2. My hair is growing, but not soon enough. I hate my new short "do". Most of the time, I pull it back, just like I always did.

3. Osmosis- yep, still getting "osmotics", I'm thinking about "split it", but so far haven't put that into action.


4. Think Fruit is working great. I am eating way more fruit. I try to eat fruit three times a day. The good effect is of course, digestive, and it's disgusting to say anything more about that. Also, the craving for sweets is WAY down, since the fruit takes care of most of that. Another benefit is that I am partaking of way more veggies. Fruit and veggies are friends!


5. Take two is working for obvious things, two strips of bacon or sausage (not both and not four)or two items at a fast-food place. Take two is not working so great with take two potato chips, or 2 teaspoons of fatty-fatty two-by four dip. I may need to think about ugh "portion control", but I'm not there yet. I think I'll eat a cookie. In fact, I think I'll eat two.

6. My favorite things HAVE CHANGED. Yes, I still love fatty-fatty two by four dip, but I haven't been to Del Taco, or Carl's or McDonalds on a regular basis. I have been a few times, mind you, but not on a regular basis and that is another real miracle. Listen to this, I will only say it one time, I BRING MY LUNCH TO WORK! I can't believe it either. I either make a sandwich or indulge and buy a salad at Trader Joe's. Also, I have been scoping out Farmer's Markets, even if they have been a little more expensive, because the crap at the super's is just that, crap.

7. Most of my eating companions have been me, myself, and I, but I treasure the time I spend with thine. Invite me out! I'll eat anything.

8. My poor bike is still sitting in the living room. It is no longer a respository for all kinds of towels and clothes because my roomie and cousin, Chris, won't put up with the mess. She is on a cleaning kick which I applaud. However, I have been walking a lot, which I will blog about soon.

9. I am not evolved enough to not get on the scale, however it was getting ridiculous, as I was hopping on like a bunny, 3 or 4 times a day. I've put it away and am vowing to only check once on the 15th of each month. For those of you, also not evolved, I've lost about 10 lbs, give or take a potato chip or two.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

THE TYRANNY OF THE SCALE

I have been weighing myself daily. Sometimes, I have been weighing myself several times a day. Why do I do this when I know it will make me crazy and tear out my hair and run towards the closest Milky Way? Weighing yourself is an example of how we have been intimidated by the weight-loss industry. There is supposed to be a "magic number" for my height and I damn well better be it! All the authorities I respect and all the people I know who have been successful with weight loss are not cowed by this little machine we stand on. But I am.

After an initial weight loss of about 7 lbs, I've gained about 2 lbs back, and then lose again. Now, 7 lbs isn't that much, but I am not going on a crash diet of any sorts, just trying to figure out how to eat better. I have weighed myself naked early in the morning, and fully-clothed late at night. I have weighed myself on weekends when I have eaten fatty fatty two by four dip, when I know I will cry myself to sleep in my metrecal. What's with this obsession with the scale?

And yet, I can't seem to throw the thing away or even stick it in a distant closet somewhere. My cousin, Patti has lost weight lately. She doesn't know how much and she doesn't weigh herself. Amazingly, when I spoke with her, she didn't even know what size she wears! She had to take her pants in because they were hanging on her. That is how she knows she lost weight. The secret to Patti's success is she "stopped eating like a pig, and ate a lot of salads". I am less perplexed by the secret of her dieting success than I am by the fact that she is not obsessed with her weight or her clothing size. Is she an American? In Patti's case, maybe not. She is a world traveler, speaks several languages fluently (French, English, Spanish, Italian)and has dual Italian and American citizenship. Maybe, that's the trick. See the world.

The world I see is from TV and magazines. We think of the world in BIG views, new countries with different cultures etc. Since it is unlikely my world view will be expanded by foreign travel anytime soon, I can expand my view in the city where I live. In a former job I held, we once polled all the languges spoken in the data entry department. Out of about 110 employees, there were 14 languages spoken. Those 14 cultures plus more, are available in my city, or close to it. No reason why I can't make some inroads close to home. Maybe an attitude adjustment is what I need. There is no reason why I can't take some of those gazillion language cd's my husband has and learn a little Spanish, or French for that matter. I can walk 20 feet from my front door and practice my new-found Spanish.

If I want something a little more exotic, I can go 10 miles and visit "Little Saigon" for an Asian flavor. If it's Greektown I want, or Little Armenia, I can visit Los Angeles, an hours drive. There is a whole world out there to see, close to home. How lucky can I get? Today is National Start Walking day, so I'm starting from home, where there is a world out there awaiting me.

Happy hiking and keep your passport current! You never know.

Friday, April 3, 2009

MY, HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN

Intellectually, I realize that achieving goddess status takes time, but being lazy and stubborn and impatient, I wish that time was NOW. As one can tell from the title of this blog, I have taken a flying leap from Mt. Olympus.

The saga continues: This past weekend was my wedding anniversary and one is allowed to indulge a bit for such an important event, no? My husband and I celebrated by going to the Pasadena Huntington Museum. He actually likes museums, more than me, so I didn't have to drag him. On the way to the museum, I spied a great little restaurant called "The Hat", best pastrami in the world, yum, yum. I drove right by it! Of course, I had my healthy snacks in hand and it was only 10 AM, but still!

By the time we entered the museum, the majority of the healthy snacks were gone, baby, gone. No matter, after perusing the gardens, it was time for the healthy lunch. My, wasn't I smug with my salad and low-fat milk, while my husband bought crap. Virtue is it's own reward.

On the way home, as we drove near the Hat, I suggested we might just indulge in a pastrami sandwich. Naive baby and foreigner that my husband is, he thought that pastrami was just like corned beef. As if. I thought maybe we could split it and take it home. Well, that was the plan but being in the restaurant looking at all that beautiful pastrami, I thought well, maybe, I can just have a bite and then take the rest home for when I was hungry. I ate my half and a large amount of John's chili cheese fries, and it was REALLY GOOD. REALLY REALLY GOOD.

Uh oh. Best laid plans and all that. The entire weekend was a bust after that. I made the mistake after the indulgent weekend to weigh myself. Dumb. Just depressed me and made me angry. As usual, the same self-hating mantra and world-hating mantra continued. Why can't I eat what I like? Why is life so miserable? Why am I so fat? Why do I have such a lousy job where I sit on my butt all day? Why?

The reason why is because we Americans have the greatest food larder in the world. We can get nearly anything we want anytime we want. We are not worried with the weather, or famine, or not having enough, so we can get fat. We're not being chased by mastodons, or spending hours taking wheat and making it into mash. Frankly, we have everything we need, and we are big whiners. So, we sit on our butts and get chubby.

Wow! Chubby is wonderful! Ok, so maybe I am a little fat, but in years past, I wouldn't have been fat. I don't think I was ever meant to be a noble, so I would have worked my chubby hiney to a thin and chiseled fine figure of a woman. Of course, I would have expired long before my present age of 29 (cough, cough) from smallpox, pestilence, dinosaurs eating me, or in childbirth with my 15th child, so who am I to complain?

It really is hard for me to get it in my mind that I can eat anything I want, whenever I want, but I don't need to! Maybe I am not so advanced as others in the evoluntionary biosphere. Maybe in my soul of souls, I really am being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger, or hiding with my grubs in my fat little fist (or not so fat fist) so my evening meal will not be stolen from me. Woe is me, for I am undone!

So, I am stuck in this century with so much food, and way too many decisions to make. The decisions I make, may decide my fate for my old age, and how I feel as an old lady, so I need to get it together NOW.

Oh yeah, my bicycle is still sitting in my living room, collecting dirty laundry. So much for vows.

Friday, March 27, 2009

FINE DINING

I have done some fine dining lately. Normally, my dining is at Del Taco, or if I want to splurge, Norm's. Last week, I went with my daughter and her best friend and kids to a very fine Italian Restaurant, by name Pizza Pi, on Broadway in Long Beach, CA.

The first thing you notice at a fine dining establishment is the ambience. Unfortunately, I felt the ambience of Pizza Pi was a bit lacking. The room we were in looked more like a warehouse than a restaurant, rather cold and uninviting. Apparently, we entered the sports room. There was a very large TV in the restaurant. If I wanted TV, I could've stayed at home. Bethany (best friend) explained to me that the the sports room was the choice for children since running around like wild little banshees (well, ok, she didn't say THAT) was more acceptable there than in the restaurant. And indeed, there was a restaurant area, we just didn't go there. No matter. The kids, Jaylin and Isabella, were extremely well behaved, and Jaylin was very attentive to his little sister and made sure she was comfortable.

The next thing you notice is the food. I give mixed reviews to the food. The kids got pizza, which looked REALLY good, but I didn't have any, so can't review. The three adults ordered three different pasta dishes. Bethany had pasta with vodka sauce, boring, bring on more vodka and I might change my mind! Keturah had something else which was interesting, tasted like it had nutmeg in it, and mine was the best by far. Pasta Nicolina, really good. Tasty sausage, spicy sauce. Yum. We ordered antipasto, big disappointment, cutting up a few salami sticks and putting them on packaged lettuce, adding a few grilled eggplant do not an antipasto make!
The piece de resistance was the bread. Wow! Crusty on the outside, soft on the inside covered with Parmesan cheese. So much for TAKE TWO, yep, I took two and then I took two more. Delish! I feel guilty about it, but how often do you fine dine?

How's about the wine? Well, I can't say there was any sommelier (Aren't you impressed that I know what that is?) I believe I was the only boozer in the party. I don't like red wine, and could care less about wine in general, but the white zinfandel I ordered was fine. I've had wine in the past that tasted like toxic swill going down, and this was very smooth.

One of the most important aspects of fine dining is the staff. Are they helpful, are they unintrusive, do they do that little something extra for you? On this level, the staff was excellent. The waitress, helpful, sweet to the kids, brought extras when we asked, and I really liked her "Alice in Wonderland" tattoo too!

The staff member who really impressed me though was the "powder room attendant"
When the call of nature arrived, as it always does, I was escorted to the powder room by a gracious, informative helper. She took me by hand and made sure I made it to the ladies room, and not the men's. She ran a little ahead to open the door for me, then opened the stall door, inspected the toilet, the toilet paper dispenser and made sure I properly lined the toilet with "hiney liner". I do believe she was going to wait inside the stall with me, but I asked her to wait outside, please. This she did, with only a few "peeks" under the door to ensure I was safe. I must say, she considered my safety more important that my modesty! Task completed, she made sure I properly flushed and inspected the toilet for confirmation. Then she ran, literally ran to the sink to ensure proper washing with hot water, and lots of soap, she then brought me a paper towel with which to dry my hands. I was walking to the door when she said "Wait!" and ran back to the towel dispenser, got a towel, and used that to open the door with. No germs for me! I do believe I have never been afforded such attention to the necessities of life!

Oh, by the way, my attendant was Bella, Bethany's daughter and she is three years old. Thank you, Bella! Good job Bethany and Terrance on the way you raise your children! And a fine dining experience was had by one and all.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I'M THINKING ABOUT RIDING MY BIKE

I'm thinking about riding my bike. It is sitting in the living room, all pretty and dressed up with nowhere to go. Getting a bit dusty she is.



I thought about buying a new bike, for a long, long time. I had a bike previously that rusted up in the bike yard and finally gave up the ghost. Everytime I went to a garage sale, I spied to see if there was a bike. In 2008, I probably went out garage selling about three times, bought a few books and trinkets, but no bike. Go figure. I thought maybe I could get my brother to get me a used bike somewhere, but he is pretty incognito and not into bikes anymore. In fact, he probably hasn't been into bikes for about ten years. Finally, sometime in the fall of 2008, I decided this is the perfect time. Go buy your bike.



First I checked K-Mart, Wal-Mart and Target. Then I tried a couple of bike stores in my hometown. Finally, I "impulsively" bought myself a bike at a shop near my daughters house. I planned on getting a beach cruiser, but I bought a five speed instead. I hopped (well, lumbered) onto the bike and "there she blows", I rode her about two blocks. It was pretty exciting!



Of course, on my new bike-riding adventure, I needed a few acoutrements. I bought a bell, cuz who can have a bike without a bell? I bought a light, for all those night time rides I was going to make. I bought a bike rack for all the times I plan on doing some long distance bike-riding and need to drive out to nature to find the perfect spot. My daughter was kind enough to get me a lock, so all those rotten thieves won't steal my bike. I already had a helmet, given to me by a co-worker in 2006, when I was still "thinking" about getting a bike, and I bought a "bladder" at Goodwill BRAND-SPANKING NEW for only $5.00. For those not in the know, a bladder is a contraption you wear on your back to supply your water on those aforementioned long bike rides in nature.

I took my bike out of storage and put it in the hall. My cousin put my bike in my bedroom cuz she was tired of tripping over it as she entered the house. I used the bike as a clothes rack for longer that I am willing to admit to anyone but a priest. Finally, I took my bike and put her in the living room, where she now sits. Every once in a while I look at her and think to myself, "Lib, why don't you take your big fat ass outside and ride the damn thing!"

The only problem is, I'm not quite ready. I don't have a basket, I don't have a thingy to put my water in for the short rides when I don't want to wear the bladder, I don't have the other things to keep my pants from getting into the spokes and most important I don't have the goony clothes to wear.

Well, even with all the deficits of the previous paragraph, I am still thinking about riding my bike. I'll even make a promise to myself to ride my bike This Sunday, my wedding anniversary, March 29th. At some point, you gotta stop thinking about it, and just do it. I just don't want to rush into any big commitment here, I mean bike-riding not marriage. Marriage should be rushed into, or you would never do it!

That's it. I've just decided, this Sunday is the BIG DAY! I'm taking the plunge, I'm galloping off in the distance, I'm taking the leap of faith. Dang nab it all, I'm riding my bike!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

MY FAVORITE THINGS

Spice drops and Red Vines and black licorice poodles
french fries with chili and cheese, bring me oodles!
Fatty Fatty two by four with Lays tater chips
Recipes follows, it's my favorite dip!



Shovelling handfuls in my big gob,
eating just like a pig
I simply forget how much crap that I eat, and wonder why I'm so BIG



FATTY FATTY TWO BY FOUR DIP (courtesy of Cyd Summers)

1 pint sour cream

1 pint cottage cheese

Lipton onion soup mix, to taste anywhere from one packet to two, Cyd prefers 1 and a half

couple shakes of worchestshire sauce (Cyd likes French's)

a pinch of dried chives

a tsp of garlic granules

squeeze of fresh lemon

MIX ALL TOGETHER AND EAT , YUM!

1. EAT LIKE A PIG- eat all yourself with Lay's potato chips (family size, my fave) or Lay's Wavy chips (Cid's favorite)

2. EAT LIKE A PRINCESS- share with your family and friends, and add veggies to the dippers

3. EAT LIKE A PAUPER- change the recipe and use non-fat cottage cheese and non-fat sour cream, or yogurt, try a half-teaspoon, realize it taste like crap and give to the cat or toss.

Here's a list of more of my favorite things.
Del Taco French Fries, Mcdonald's French fries, Jack-in-the-box tacos, KFC original chicken, breast, with coleslaw and potatoes and gravy, Tommy's Burgers, Pizza Hat deep dish pizza, Carl's Jr's zuccini,

Is it any wonder I've put on a pound or two? Now, here's a list of what the diet people say we should love- tofu, sprouts, acai berry, tofurkey, . Yuk. This is why "take two" and "think fruit" is working for me.

So how, is that working. Well, pretty good. When I am eating my favorite things, I just take two, two cookies, two tacos, or a taco and fry (small for both) , and since I am thinking fruit and eating fruit three times a day, I am not eating as much other crap. Go figure, and not a tofu milkshake in sight!

Monday, March 23, 2009

DIET

I remember my first diet. Some of my girlfriends and I started freezing yogurt and putting it in our school locker for lunch, instead of eating whatever our mothers made us, or the school lunch. Yum. Yogurt . Nothing else for lunch.

Then, of course there was the sunflower seed diet. Eat other things if you had to, but the basics of the diet was sunflower seeds.

Then, Weight-Watchers. At least four times that I paid for, plenty of times that I didn't.

Nutri-system was a really good idea. I started Nutri-System which cost about $300 to join, about 23 years ago. They only had dehydrated food then. It probably wasn't a good idea to join right before I went to Club Med. That lasted one dehydrated meal at the "summer camp for adults".

I then decided I wasn't going to diet any more, so with my friends, we met at a "Diets Don't Work" weekly meeting. The most successful of the women there started using "Atkins" diet. I put on even more weight with that.

I then tried the "cabbage soup" diet. I remember that one well and so does my family. I started that right around the time the Winter Olympics was on. Even with beano, I wasn't fit to be with other humans. They locked me out of my own house and I had to watch the Olympics through the picture window in the living room. That was brutal! (and the fam would agree).

A few years ago, after finding out I had high blood pressure, I started a diet of my own design, the "is it gonna kill me diet". That lasted about a month. The idea was to not eat anything I thought would eventually kill me. Corned beef and cabbage ruined that. St. Patrick's Day, I'm a sucker for it. There's the end of "is it gonna kill me."

One diet that never works for me is "Trauma Trim". I may lose my appetite for a short period of time after major trauma, but it doesn't last long. It's worked great for a couple of friends of mine going thru divorce.

If "diet and exercise" really worked, wouldn't we all do it? I think it doesn't work. I think everybody has to decide what is right for them, what they feel in their souls and then do it. Most people are not 200 lbs overweight, or even 100 or even 50. Most overweight people are 20 to 30 lbs overweight, and they are just fine, thank you very much. They should just not worry and accept themselves.

The rest of us do need to think about it, and do what is right for themselves. That is what I am doing with "think fruit" and "take two" and that is going really well. Update on "think fruit" and "take two" next time.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

TAKE TWO

TAKE TWO. Now what does that mean? Take two could mean take two whole turkeys to eat, or two grapes. Try as I might, I get no other message except for TAKE TWO, why not one? Why not three? And two of what? Nope, only take two.

So far, this is what it means to me. Take two, does not mean "Oh, thank you very much, I think I'll have another piece of pie", but it might mean "Yes, indeedy, I will have TWO pieces of that delicious See's Candy". It also doesn't mean, I will have TWO strawberries, or TWO GRAPES, OR TWO kiwi fruit, because when thinking fruit, I don't care how much I eat, I will each just as much fruit as I want, as long as it is fresh.

It might mean, I really only need two bites of Milky Way candy bar, though. I really don't need the whole thing. And it might mean, two Hershey kisses instead of two dozen.

Good things just plain come in twos, and that could mean you and that sweet spouse of yours, or it could mean your own good two legs, two eyes, or two arms.

So far, taking two for me has meant 1. At Der Wienerschnitzel, I got one chili cheese dog and one small fry, instead of two chili cheese dogs and a fry, because of course that would be three and 2. Same day, two pizza pieces and not three or four.

Now, some might argue, that chili cheese dogs or pizza pieces should come in NO pieces, not two, However, I would argue, that I don't trust people who really think that tofu is a subsitute for ANYTHING, and not just tofu, or they really do colon cleanses, and check their BMI's etc. These people are killjoys and not like you and me and cannot be trusted!

So, when eating Think Fruit, first of all, and with everything else, Just Take Two.

THINK FRUIT

For the past couple of weeks, the inner monologue (IM) has been giving me the message "think fruit". Ok, mmmn. done. Thought about fruit.

When I think about fruit, I mostly think about the lousy fruit I have purchased lately. I bought a beautiful bag of red delicious apples at Costco, pretty enough to photograph. They were also dry as dirt and tasteless. Last year, I bought a gorgeous crate of peaches, that were mealy, with no tase, also at Costco. You would think I would give up on Costco, but no, again today, thinking fruit, I bought strawberries, bananas and watermelon, also at Costco. I'm giving them another chance. I just tried the strawberries and they are delish! Hurray!

Thinking about fruit, brings me back to my childhood. We spent the summers at my Grandmother Laila's in Seattle. Staying with Grandma was a culinary treat, not that I appreciated it then. Her backyard garden had raspberries, apples and grapes. Anytime we kids felt like it we could pick an apple off a tree or grapes from a vine, or take a bucket and pick wild blackberries or the delicate raspberries. Yum.

When I was in grade school in Lakewood, I used to walk around the block and take fruit from the kumquat or pomegranate trees on neighbor's property, maybe even steal a few carob pods. I don't remember getting "shooed" away or anybody calling the police on us "hoodlums"

In Westminster, we had apricot and plum trees to pick fruit from. My mother took all us kids "gleaning"at strawberry fields that were being plowed under, and we, of course, could eat ourselves silly, and mom got free labor for the pies or jams she made.

I don't expect fruit from the store to taste as fresh as hand-picked from the tree or vine, but does it have to be so tasteless, mealy, and lousy? How about expense? It's mind boggling how expensive fruit is. No wonder, it's easier to eat junk food, cheaper by far.

Thinking fruit, I know I need to get back to the source. The tree or the vine. This is Southern California, and I need to seek out the sources, take a trip to the farmers markets, or even to Julian for the apples. When something as delicious as fruit, gets trucked miles, or smashed up into boring 'fruit bars", or sprayed to death, it's easy to get bitter. Packed into cans, with high sugar, or frozen, it ain't the same folks.

So, that's my goal. I don't think I will have a berry patch or apricot tree anytime soon, so I need to seek out fruit from the source, locally grown, because it is just plain better than the stuff in the supers.

OSMOSIS

I am trying to figure out how to lose weight by OSMOSIS. PRAYER, VOICES IN MY HEAD. I don't know what that means, really. But, I guess it is mostly by "the inner monologue". How do you know the inner monologue is something you should even listen to instead of a sign you're loony tunes.

Well, if the inner monologue says things like "blow up the state capital" or "run down Beach Blvd with pigeons on your head swinging your cat by the tail", then maybe your are stark-raving mad. If the inner monologue says "I want to change my outer self, so I think I should stop drinking Diet Coke", then maybe you're ok. In my case, IM, (inner monologue) wasn't quite that succint regarding Diet Coke-it was more like "you don't need that crap any more".
So, these are the inner monologues (IM) so far. "Think Fruit", and "Take Two", and "you don't need that crap anymore". Gotta go to work. More on "Think Fruit" later

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

RUDE!

I had some pictures put up on my cell (ahem, cubicle) at work. A coworker came by and was perusing them. She spotted a picture taken of me and my husband and his family in Australia and she said "Is that you?"

"Well, yeah," says I.

"How long ago was that taken?" says coworker.

"About eight years ago" says I.

"My God, you sure have put on a lot of weight since then." says coworker

"Well, thank you very much, BITCH. If you can't says something nice just keep your damn piehole shut!" says I.

Ok, I lied, I didn't say the last sentence, just muttered some inane unmemorable comment. But, Ill be damned, I wish I did say it! Who does she think she is? I could have come up with many comments regarding her looks, her manner, her work ethics etc., but of course, I am a nice person and wouldn't do such a thing.

Oh! Oh! OH! Maybe I have it all wrong! Maybe, she meant it as a compliment! She didn't say, and here I am thinking the worst of her. I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, now that I am thinking about it. Yes, that's it. The next time someone says, "Wow, you sure have put on weight" or some other such remark, that I have previously assumed they said because they were stupid and RUDE and thoughtless ingrates, I will smile at them and say-

"Thank you, Thank you very much!

GOD'S ELIXIR

Long, long ago in a faraway land (Grand Rapids, MI, 1982) a fair young maiden (me) went searching for the elixir of the Gods! Eureaka! "I have found it", she cried as she guzzled and wept with joy! And thus, began a love affair that she assumed would last till time eternity, but in actuality came to a screeching halt in February 2009.

As love affairs, this one was pretty good. 27 years! It began when I walked into a Meijer's grocery store and tried a new Coca-Cola product. DIET COKE. I remember that there was a display in the back corner of the store. Keturah, the baby was in the stroller and Rachel was chomping at the bit, holding mama's hand. A farm fresh Michigan girl offered me a taste test of the new product or Diet Pepsi. I first tried the Diet Pepsi, and let's face it, it is way the hell better than TAB, the only other diet product at the time. I then tried the other product, DIET COKE and there it was 'THE ELIXIR OF THE GODS'. She offered me a liter, and I gladly accepted. From then on, for 27 years, I was hooked.

It doesn't seem that at first I was completely addicted. I have no idea what I drank for the first 29 years of my life. Water, an occasional Orange Crush, or Hires Root Beer. I know I liked Squirt a lot, juice sometimes, but beginning that fateful day, it has been Diet Coke and nothing else.

Since I signed up for the freebies at the grocery store, I was inundated with free coupons, or dollar off coupons, and I used them all. I remember getting a free 24 pack of Diet Coke, and Diet Pepsi, not to be outdone began sending me freebies also. I once had a 24 pack of Diet Pepsi delivered to my door, which I did not sign up for or want. It was Diet Coke or nothing for me.

My father was also addicted to Diet Coke, at first it was regular Diet Coke, and then he switched to Caffeine Free Diet Coke. He had a closet full, and he liked it like I do, in the can, cold and on ice. In fact, he liked it so much that 12 years ago, at age 70, he passed away of kidney cancer. Of course, there is no proof, but my brother Hal insists, it was the Diet Coke that killed him.

I will have to give some credit to Hal regarding my freedom from addiction from Diet Coke. For years, he has taunted me with "So, are you still drinking the beverage that killed our father?" (Funny how he never called it "God's elixir" like I have). And until recently, I would always have to say "yes, yes I am".

So, how did I quit? Truthfully, I looked at the can in my hand around 3:30PM (afternoon pickup) at work- said outloud "I don't need this crap anymore" and threw it into the trashcan.
And that was it...

Wow! What happened? Frankly, I have no idea. I have read the literature about how bad it is, I have berated myself for years for my addiction, I have given it up for a month at a time suffering from mind-crushing headaches and mind-boggling cravings. And now? Nada, none of that, a few minor headaches, a couple of sips to stay awake and to test the power of Diet Coke. But, now -gone. Can I say I will never be addicted to this substance anymore? Yes, I can. Can I say I will never have another drink again? No, I might but, and it's a big but, I just don't want to anymore, and that my friends is a true miracle.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Didja get a new 'do?

Well, I started my endeavor towards better health, weight loss and inner beauty. I did this by cutting my hair! I decided I was tired of long hair and cut it short. Actually, I wanted it shoulder length and it ended up chin length.

Now, I didn't say that I liked this change, in fact I HATE IT, but change is good. When I figure out how to put photos on this blog, I'll post a few of the old 'do, and the new do and let you decide

libhotmama

Well, I have finally decided to blog about my latest and greatest goal. Weight Loss! Ha Ha, now there's a shocker. Actually, I have been trying to lose weight since I was 17, when I was truly Libhotmama! What a fool I was to not have known how hot I looked. But, as is the case with most young women in America, we have bought the crap that we are not worthy, that we are ugly, that we need to skinny down, and put on more makeup, and look prettier or a MAN will never love us, or we won't get that dream job, or fill in the blank.

My intention is to not diet, and still lose a ton of weight. My intention is to try and figure out how to get back to that carefree kid who just loved green peppers, and pickles and cold water from the faucet and never cared about how I looked, or what I weighed. And I will do it.

This is a journey, a never ending one. Thank God, I have a husband who loves me for who I am, and not just how I look. (He is a man, so he kinda cares how I look). Thank God, I have friends and family who ditto- see above.

And Thank God to Thank God. The first step toward inner and outer beauty. Here's to my readers, stay beautiful and love yourself no matter how you think you "look".